The Story...part 4

Heavyweights


I must admit, the details of what happened when are sometimes fuzzy to me. Mine and Scott's relationship has been developing over the course of 3 years, so I don't remember the timeline of the beginning months as well. But there are certain details I will always remember.

So, we held hands. Man, I felt so 7th grade about that. And I'm pretty sure he did too. I couldn't figure out my feelings from that night, but I decided to just let things play out and not overthink it. That was a new motto I was going by. This was to save me from running away from things due to fear. So we continued to spend as much time as we could together flirting, talking, me making fun of him, etc. We even started going out on real dates,  not just couch dates. I consider our first real date to Texas Roadhouse. I didn't want my kids to meet him, so I met  him at the restaurant. My impression? Man that guy can throw down some meat. And dang those rolls are good.

If you weren't aware, Scott is obsessed with the mountains and camping. Our second official date, he took me up north. I put this date off for a few weeks, trying to figure out if I was going to be safe with him for that long, in the middle of nowhere. I'm telling you, I was a cautious girl. But, it ended up being a blast. He made me the biggest pancake I've ever seen, and boy was he proud of that. We talked until the fire went out and my bladder told me it was time to go. Peeing in the woods is not my idea of romance. Especially in the pitch dark without a female buddy to go with. I decided to hold it. We drove the hour and a half drive home while my poor bladder suffered in silence. I was hoping I wouldn't embarass myself by wetting my pants so soon in the relationship. I refused to move the whole drive home-so I succeeded.

I specifically remember the first time we "cuddled." We were sitting on the same couch at opposite ends. I was tired and laid down and told him I probably wouldn't be mad at him if he decided to rub my feet. This was a test. He passed. After that moment, we decided that sitting right next to each other was probably okay. I mean, really, we didn't want to take up the whole couch if someone else needed it. ;) I eventually sat up and we finished watching whatever movie it was tucked close next to each other. I was freaking out. Scott was freaking out. But we didn't say a word.  

I feel it worthy to mention that Scott is a whole foot taller than me. This caused some difficulty in the whole hugging process. We really could not figure out how to hug without it being awkward. For weeks we tried every kind of hug out there, without success. We high fived, did knuckles, side hugged, alternating arms, you name it. It wasn't working. I dreaded saying goodbye in anticipation of what hug would come. One particular evening after a date, we walked slowly up to my door. He leaned down to give me a hug and accidently grazed my uh-hum..backside. (and yes, it was an accident) I quickly turned out, mumbled quietly to myself "That's not gonna work" and bolted inside. Poor Scott was so confused. It wasn't until sometime later he realized his mistake.

During all these awkward hugs, dates and time spent together I was starting to wonder if he would ever make the "move." Or if I even wanted him to. I would play it out in my mind and try to imagine my reaction, praying I wouldn't slap the poor soul. There were moments when I thought it was coming.... during a particular date up north, we were packing up in the dark and mentioning how cool the stars looked. He stopped what he was doing and called me over to him. Here we go, I thought. He gave me a hug and was silent for a few minutes, like he was thinking. I waited for what seemed like 5 minutes. Instead of kissing me, he then rambled off something cheesy about how he liked me. Buzzkill. Moments like these happened more frequently than I even knew, according to Scott. It took him a long time to gain some courage. But eventually..he did. 

One evening, we stayed in and watched one of his favorite movies, Heavyweights. You know, that really romantic one about the kids fat camp? At that point, we had decided that holding hands and sitting close was acceptable, so we were feeling pretty comfortable. Except for that pesky elephant in the room. I was curious during the whole movie, if it might happen that night but had hoped that maybe it would be a little more romantic. The movie ended and we both sat frozen for a few minutes in silence watching the credits roll. I did as I always do during awkward moments, and left for the bathroom. I returned and Scott was still frozen on the couch. He asked me to come sit next to him, so I did, my face facing his and what do you know, bam! He did it. Heavyweights credits in the backround and all. I was a bit flustered so after a minute I sat up and said I probably should go. We stood up and bam, he did it again. At this point, I was trying to remember how this whole thing worked, if I was doing it right or how I was suppose to feel. I had a million thoughts running through my poor brain. He was the first person I had kissed in 3 years. I was a little rusty. After an interruption from a roommate, we ended the night and he walked me out to my car. Before I left, he told me it was the "best first kiss ever." I thought, "he's so full of it." (do you sense a theme?) and left.

I gotta be honest, I didn't feel butterflies and rainbows during our kiss. That kind of freaked me out. I wondered how I should really be feeling. I talked to my girlfriends about it. I thought back to what happens in the movies during that moment. Cause movies are always reliable. But I decided to not let it get me down, and to just let things pan out how they will. I didn't feel bad about it, I just wasn't sure how I felt. All I knew was I liked being around him so I figured this journey might be kind of fun...