The Story...part 3

The Move

After the initial scare, I decided Scott wasn't so bad. But still, I had finals coming up and I was too busy to think much about anything else except Florence Nightengale. At that time, heading to the singles ward regularly was pretty much out of the question too, so after not seeing Scott for a few days, imagine my surprise when he stopped by my place the following Sunday-Mother's Day of all days. I was mid-studying when he showed up and didn't have much time to kill. I was ignoring Sunday dinner socializing already to study and was counting down the minutes until my final the following day. Does anybody else major in procrastination like I do? I answered the door and was pleasantly surprised to see him. After making sure my children were in bed, I slipped out the front door for "just a minute." You see, it was way too soon for anyone in my family to be meeting this guy. Let's not make a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be, shall we?

We made our way to the edge of the sidewalk next to his truck and he nervously pulled out a white envelope with my name on it. "I brought you a card for mother's day." he said. My first thought was "woah, settle down buddy. a mother's day card?" But as I pulled out the folded orange construction paper and read his scribbled writing, I was satisfied. 

"Bonnie-
Beyond the fact that you look good in red shoes, I don't know much about you. I do know that you're a single mom and that this is Mother's Day. There should be more than one day dedicated to mothers. I realize that you probably are not looking for my sympathy and I'm not really trying to dish it out. I just want you to know that I have a special respect and admiration for you and hope you have had a fantastic Mother's Day!"

Hmm..not as creeped out as I thought I would be. In fact, I decided it was really sweet. (That is, until I learned I wasn't the only girl he gave one too-he's too nice sometimes)

We chatted a little bit at his truck, with my textbooks weighing heavily on my mind. But soon, I forgot my responsibilities and we ended up sitting on his tailgate talking for an hour and a half. About what, I couldn't tell you. As he started to leave he asked if I was going to do well on my final tomorrow. I replied, "not anymore!" But to me, it seemed worth it. It was time I needed with him and with some good conversation. He pulled away and I thought to myself I could get used to having someone like him around. And don't worry, I passed my final.

That next week, we exchanged a few texts and I started spending a little more time over at his place. I would put my kids to sleep and head down the street for some more adult conversation. Or so I thought. The combination of Scott and his roommates was more similar to 14 year old boys living in a house together than adults. But, they were fun and I needed that. Scott and I spent countless hours having mindless conversation over the ping pong table or Super Nintendo. Anything where we could multi-task and not focus directly on each other. We were both very open and honest with each other. I knew he was starting to like me, but I was unsure of my feelings for him. And I told him this on multiple occasions. I was scared of a relationship. Terrified really. And I didn't see the point in starting something with someone I wasn't sure of. It seemed like a waste of time. We went down this road for several weeks. Talking about it, but never doing anything.

I must have been giving him a few signals that showed maybe I could be interested, cause he finally found some courage. We were sitting on the couch facing each other talking. Both of our hands were up on the backside of the couch, close to each other. I'm sure I was right in the midst of revealing some issue I've had relating to dating and such when Scott grabbed my hand and said "I promise I will never hurt you." My first thought was "This is weird. It feels like my friend is just trying to hold my hand." My second thought was "That line was cheesy and I don't believe him." Poor Scott-see what he had to deal with? I let him hold my hand for awhile, but felt awkward the whole time. I was disapointed and wondered what my problem was. Maybe it was just that we didn't click, or maybe it was me? I couldn't figure it out. I thought I should just go with it though. I knew I had a lot of walls built up around me and I wanted to give Scott a fair chance. It was just deciding how many walls I was willing to break down. In the meantime, Scott was anxiously awaiting that decision as well..