Bipo

i feel like my blog can't decide what it wants to be. it's having a case of the bipolars. which according to what i just learned in psych 2 weeks ago, is not fun so much. and a little draining. should it be a "lighthearted, funny stories" blog? a "look at my kids" blog? a "single, divorced dating stories" blog? a downright "truth telling, although sometimes depressing and not a lot of pictures" blog? a "i'm crafty, you're not" blog? (actually, let's be honest, that won't happen) i tell you, the options are endless. and i've gone back and forth plenty of times. well, as many times as i might think about my blog, which is bottom tier on my priority list at this moment. although actually at this very moment, it's top due to the fact that i'm currently avoiding precious homework and study time. but i guess i'm realizing that i have a hard time pretending when i write. as much as i'm not a writer, and can be somewhat of a private person in some areas, writing can be therapeutic. so i realized whatever i write is my reality, bipolar or not. at this time in my life, i can't write that everything is rainbows and butterflies because it's not. it's hard. life is hard. school is hard. i feel like a constant letdown to everyone around me, kids being the very first. but i'm learning that i can do hard things. and trials are temporary. and i can choose my attitude. and i'm trying to be positive. it's a daily battle, but i still try and fight. i feel like if i can survive the next 6 weeks left in school, i can make it. but until then, i will be pulling my hair out, and crying a lot, and losing a lot of sleep. but that's life sometimes. so in the meantime, i'll write what i feel. whether its a good day and i see my kids for more than a couple hours and i happen to take lots of fun pictures of them...or whether it was a horrible day, and my teacher was the devil,i failed another test, cried for an hour, and tucker sobbed when i left the house for the 3rd time. so my blog will continue to have the bipolars because some days are good, some are bad, and some are in between. but i'm still a mom with kid stories, a single with dating stories, and a cynic (too much so) with some stories that may not be the happiest. so i'll write what i feel and i suppose it might keep the 2 readers of my blog on their toes as what might be next. now back to work...more psych reading.