looks can be deceiving

so i've decided that i'm a horrible student. it's not even halfway into the semester and i have given up completely. i pretty much bombed my micro practical on tuesday, and have a big test tomorrow where i could make up some lost points, and yet, i am sitting here writing a blog. you can see my priorities. though, i must point out, that in the maricopa community college program, your grades do not count at all in getting into nursing, it's simply first come, first serve. which annoys me as much as it relieves me. why should i even try at all in class if it only matters when i turn in my application? along the same lines, i went to john c. lincoln and am going to start volunteering there to try and get an "in" to maybe get into the program sooner. we'll see how it goes. after meeting with the lady, and pondering, i realize how much out of my comfort zone i will really be in. unless i'm with people i know, i'm not really one to step out and introduce myself or jump to help. i'm really quite shy around those i don't know. i had pictured myself like a nurse on er or something, eager to help and always some clever thing to say, but really i'm fretting over what to say to rude patients, or how i introduce myself, or maybe start calling people "honey" or "sweetie" to make it seem like i'm really extra friendly. plus, did i ever really think about the duties i might be responsible for? do i really want to poke people for a living, or stick my hand up something? hmm....something to think about. i just keep telling myself over and over, it's a job, i can do it! plus, i don't really have a choice unless i want to be filing medical records my whole life. which does sound appealing, but i must resist. anywho, last weekend was fun as i took a trip to cottonwood with some family. as tatum would relay, it is interesting what people take accustom to for a hobby. such as collecting hundreds and hundreds of bears, so they have their own room. or collecting so many ladybugs they scare the guests in a teeny tiny 2 by 4 bathroom. it will always be a mystery to me, but to each their own i suppose. anywho, now might be a good time to start studying.. we will see.