The Birds and the Bees

I woke up this morning, got the family off to school and work and finally decided it was time to blog. I woke up with a little more energy and a little less grumpiness than usual lately and figured it might be a good time. In reality, I should be updating on what our family did 2 months ago for our cute Christmas, or 3 months ago for Thanksgiving, or really any significant time in the past 6 months. But I really start to resent blogging if I felt a need to update so frequently. Maybe that's why I have unfinished scrapbooks from high school. Ya, that's probably it. Instead, I feel the need to document an uber important conversation with my kiddos, one that every parent dreads-The Birds and Bees. As my pregnancy has trucked on, Grace and Tucker have randomly asked little questions about where she lives, how she got there, etc. After giving many vague answers for the past 9 months, Grace finally pinned me down for an answer and I promised her I would give her one. So here it goes:

**warning: this post may contain use of the proper terms for certain body parts, making us all feel uncomfortable. me included. 



I told Grace I would give her an answer in a few days. I prepped Scott for the occasion, searched the internet (very carefully) for some help and even raced to the library for a little guidance. What I came up was a hope, a prayer and 3 books from the 80's discussing storks, the human body and how you were born (complete with cartoon illustrations). 

Monday night we sat down for our usual Family Home Evening. I tried to plan a "gospel" theme around this subject so as to not make it so weird. I was sweating bullets (not so unusual for me right now anyway). Scott had no idea what to expect. We began by talking about the Plan of Salvation and what Heavenly Father's purpose for us on this life is. We read out of Genesis about "multiplying and replenishing the Earth." We talked about our bodies being a gift and what the purpose of them was here on Earth. That was all fine and dandy. Then, I posed the question to them of "Have you heard of the word SEX?" I was terrified of the answer, but expected Grace might have been familar with it. Instead Tucker gave me a confused look and Grace responded with "Well, I've heard of SEX-Y." I was surprised and unsure of whether I should be relieved or not- I knew we were starting from scratch here. 

We started discussing body parts. Now, in our house, I have never used the scientific words for body parts. I feel weird having my kids use those terms when they are so young. In fact, I feel weird using those terms myself, even in my profession. It always makes me want to giggle. I thought I should maybe correct this when I took Tucker to the doctor for his 7 year check up in December. When the Dr. talked to him about his "penis" Tucker stared at him with a blank look on his face with no idea what he was talking about. So, we started with a very basic understanding of what parts boys have and what parts girls have. We started with boys. After the penis talk, I asked if the kids knew what testicles were. Tucker piped up with "that's what holds your penis to your body."  Feeling uncomfortable enough to fully correct him, we went with that answer for the time being. When asked if they knew what a vagina was, Tucker again responded  "ya, that looks like a line."  From a child's perspective, I could see that way of thinking, so we went with that. We talked about what the basic parts were used for and addressed how our bodies were filled with all sorts of cells. I pulled out one of the books from the 80's to show them cartoon pictures of sperm and eggs. The kids were fascinated by the cell pictures and even Scott, who had been silent and fighting laughter this entire time, was intrigued. All of this was build up to what we had yet to discuss-SEX.

After we looked at the cell pictures, I asked the kids if they knew how the sperm gets into the woman's egg. They had no clue. So then I had to say it. "The penis goes into the vagina." Grace looked confused and slightly horrified. "I don't get it, HOW does it do that?" she asked. Feeling overwhelmed myself at that time, I gave a vague description of what how the actual activity occurs and described it as "sort of a hug." I stumbled over my words, looking to Scott for help, and emphasized how special and sacred the act is and it's only something to be done in private. My favorite comment for the evening came at this moment. After my explanation, Grace responds "So, it's like after the kids go to sleep and you guys just look at each other and say Soooo, you want to do it?" At this point, I could have cried from laughter, but trying to be the responsible parent in the situation, I skimmed over her question and emphasized that yes, it's something done in private. I struggled to hide the book with the seemingly innocent cartoon picture of a woman and man in bed with covers over them and their feet sticking out. The slight sketched in "lines" around the cartoon blanket to emphasize the blanket rustling just about put me over the top. Scott, bless his heart, spent the entire conversation with his hand placed firmly over his mouth and avoiding eye contact with anyone. He knew if I addressed him at any moment, he might break into awkward laughter. He was super helpful. But at this point, I knew the worst was probably over. I could breathe a somewhat sigh of relief. We finished off by discussing how the baby actually comes out of the mom and the kids seemed so excited talking about the baby, they forgot what we initially were discussing. I asked them over and over if they had questions. We finally wrapped up with the same speech over and over. We talked about how special and private this subject was and absolutely Do NOT talk about this to your friends. If you have a question come to us or your grandparents, aunts, and uncles, etc. Tucker added "Ya, we'll ask aunts and uncles only IF they know about it...." So yes, I sincerely hope mine and Scott's siblings know about the above topic. I don't know if I can handle this conversation again for another 8 years.

All in all, the conversation went great and the kids were actively involved and not crying from embarassment like I did when I was younger. Since then, we have had continuation of the topic by discussing whether you know an animal is a boy or girl, what a "sack" is (thanks to the pre-teen boys at that park) what the word "sexy" really means, and whether Grace is old enough to wear a training bra (whaaaaatttt????). All uncomfortable topics, but I would rather give them the answer than their peers. 

When did I get so old to be dealing with this?